Moderating a meeting
Mapping a Trigger:
Today I was invited to moderate a Meeting.
Usually this was done by the company owner. He hired me, because he wished not to have a double or triple role in the team. He wanted to be able to discuss with the team as a member. Upfront we talked a lot about my role and my function within.
Upfront we had a meeting with all the team to prepare the tasks, that would possibly be coming up during the next two weeks. The preparation meeting was there to discuss all the question, that are important to the team.
Then we had a break, so that everyone could write down the specific tasks, before we started the planning meeting.
I moderated the meeting and eveyone came prepared and we could plan in a comfortable mode.
The boss was obviously working alongside, not mentally attending. As a moderator I usually ask people, to stay and be there (physically and mentally) or leave, if reasonable.
I realized, that I started observing him on my screen (remote meeting). I observed my hands
I started massaging my palms and my jaw became more tense.
Then the thoughts started: he really is a bad role model! Why does he do that? Asks me to take over the moderation so that he can finally take part and then he is not there at all.
I started to get really annoyed. Not only is he mentally absent, he also gives the other participants the go-ahead to do something like that. If the boss does it, I can do it too…
To crown it all, when the meeting was successfully concluded, he reopened the topics from the preparatory meeting to discuss his topics again.
He hired me to improve the processes in the company and we made clear agreements on this. In the first meeting, he counteracts our agreements.
It makes me sad to observe this, and also angry.
I didn’t go into it in the meeting, I just said I see what’s happening here but I’ll let it go for now.
I would have liked to grab him aside and tell him off.
Instead, I stayed calm and decided to do that in a one-on-one conversation.
However, I notice my blood pressure rising as I write these lines.- 1 Reply
That’s a very powerful story. Thank you for sharing!
You had a good awareness of your emotions, and you even were able to make a wiser decision. Have you had this conversation yet? How did you feel? If not, can you identify what in your database is creating this anger so that you can transform it and use its energy in a constructive way? It’s definitely sending you an important message, and if you work with it it can help you convey this message to the company owner in a both kind and assertive way.
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