My contribution rejected
Mapping a trigger
Precondition: Imagine a constructive,long meeting where people decide about directions the company will move to. I was prepared, did a lot of work the day before. Added my point to the voting list. By adding this, the group started arguing on the relevance of my contribution.
Trigger: Boss saying “Heinz, this discussion is too pathetic for me now, lets move on”
My though was “All against me” and “Disrespect for my point”. My need, that every contribution has to be heart and valued was challenged. Remembered me of school days, when I was an outsider.
Affect Programm: Moving into sadness and frustration my body felt heavy and I couldn’t move, want to vanish, looping thoughts, tight throat and tear glands activated (but not crying).
Somehow I could capture this effects in this moment and could use this awareness to choose…
a mindful response: by communicating my feelings into the group and saying what is going on with me and how I experience the situation in the group.
Group appreciated my statement and promised to think about this idea another time. I think this was a constructive way to handle this situation.The end of the story: My contribution still had the greatest resistance in the group and has been rejected by all.
- 1 Reply
@heinzbrasch, this is an insightful review with a great awareness of the database as well.
You were able to turn the emotion into a mindful, constructive response. Often the reactions of others are about them, not about us. So it could be that your contribution brought up some uncomfortable emotions they were not prepared to deal with, needing to dismiss it as a self-protection mechanism.
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