Why can’t you come?
What triggered it?
Next week the signing of the contract for our house is due, as I feel this is a very important moment in our lives, I would have loved to do it together with my husband. His presence is not compulsary for the legal act and he is very busy about 200 km away and feels he cannot spend the time to travel 3-4 hours (dependend on puplic transport). I am aware of the facts which does not change my wish to do this together.
On the phone I askekd him to make it possible to come, my wish was rejected – as exspected but than he said something which I now cannot even remember but it was a huge trigger which was about to put me on the merry-go-round of accusations. My vague memory starts with a : and you do..
What did I feel?
Rejection which was self inflicted in means of, if only I was different, I would not have been rejected
this pulled the rugg out under my feet, it‘s like free fall, core issue, I am not right, therefore I cannot be loved and my wishes not be granted, my needs not be met
How did I behave?
As falling free is very unpleasant, I was about to go into fight mode- when I noticed, that I was fully aware, why he feels there is not time to take the journey
I swallowed and let my dissapointment pass
I expressed it in words on the phone
What was the result?
I did feel loved, even without meeting my wishes. I was certain that he knew that I am dissapointed, and that he indeed whised it would be otherwise himself.
It did take a couple of hours and watching a video teaching to analyse what all happened. Funnily enough it unraveled itself, I was not haunted by it over hours, I just understood the process.
- 1 Reply
Wow, what a powerful episode, thanks for sharing!
There was a strong Emotional Awareness there that allowed you to recognize your unbalanced emotion before it made you adopt a destructive behavior, stop, and choose a more constructive one by understanding your own triggers. Amazing job!
The next layer of the onion will be to connect with the why of those triggers and begin the deep healing process 😊
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